Thursday, 17 June 2010

Good Week / Bad Week

Tomorrow is my anniversary. 6 years married, 11 years together in total. We have a picture on our wall at home, of a brass running. Doesn’t sound very exciting I hear you say, but it was one of the things we did together one lazy Sunday on 3rd May 2000 when we decided to go off to Stratford Upon Avon.

We had a lovely day there and decided to visit the brass rubbing centre. It was really good fun. We did this rubbing of a man in armour on a horse, who was slaying a demon. Never done one before and we were quite pleased with ourselves that it turned out so nice. Black paper with gold’s, bronze’s and silver’s to bring out the brass picture onto the paper.

We decided to frame it and we didn’t just want any old frame either. It had to be perfect for the look. We spent months looking for something that would do and eventually we found a mirror. The mirror was enclosed with this wooden slightly deformed but aged looking frame and it was perfect! We had an inset made and to this day it proudly gets displayed. It’s ten years old this year, amazing to think about that and our life together. The adventures, the ups and downs and the fact that through it all, we have come through it a lot stronger for it, despite my illness, I’ve never been happier.

We are going to venture out for the first time in ages and enjoy a meal somewhere. Normally we are quite home bodies really. But we used to go out to festivals a lot (not big ones though) and enjoy the chilled out atmosphere of that, and hopefully we will start that again now the youngest is getting older and more independent. But we don’t generally venture out for many evenings without the kids anyway, so we are going to make the most of some time out alone. I have a good friend from work coming over to take charge of the nipper so I know he will be in good hands, and I am looking forward to a bite to eat and my hubby’s company.

But I just wanted to say thank you to my hubby who has stuck with me through thick and thin, and has been a rock with my illness and his creativeness, love of life and sheer joy in making people happy makes me very proud to be part of his life, and I appreciate every day we have to share together, so thank you for all that you are Mick.

Bad news this week though is my pain levels, particularly my neck. I don’t know why it is playing up as it is, but I have been going up the wall with it this week. The pain is not just my neck, although this is the most painful point, but the radiating pain that has been going down my arms, and into my wrists, and fingers, then my hips and lower back have been complaining. My neck feels very acutely painful, if I touch the back of my neck, it is very sensitive, and I can feel the tension there. I am not convinced at all that it’s just my Fibromyalgia causing this pain. I mean this is where I was 8 years ago after my accident and I should really have it x-rayed again to see if there is further damage, because the pain feels the same as it did in that first week, acute, dominating and bloomin sore!

I generally don’t take painkillers, mainly because they don’t really do anything. I’d have to be on the really good stuff to get any benefit I think. The usual over the counter things just really don’t do a lot, but last night I did resort to buying some co-codemol. I was just beyond distraction at work, pacing every 20 minutes or so because I could keep still. I did loads of stretching exercises at my desk to help ease the tension, but it felt like as I got a few seconds relief, all the muscles just tightened again like they were trying to protect my neck.

I feel like there is more going on there, arthritic maybe, as it’s a very common place, and every after a while gets arthritis in their necks to a certain extent because of age, wear and tear and because your neck has to hold your head up which is no mean feat, but some are not affected by it, and some get pain. My pain has been pretty constant for 8 years and now it’s escalated, and I think it needs looking at. I just don’t want them to fob me off with ‘Its fibro, live with it’ because If I had to live with this level of pain I have right now, I will decapitate myself.

However, the combination of ibruprofen and co-codemol did take an edge off last night which was something, the headache at least subsided some which is a good thing. It’s back today of course, so I shall be dosing up good and proper tomorrow. I want to enjoy our special night out, and can’t wait to get Friday day done and dusted so I can do just that.