When you have fibromyalgia, it can be very difficult to get across to another person just how you are feeling, because most of the time, you actually look really well. It's one of those illnesses that does not manifest itself by physical symptoms outside of your body in the sense of you don't grow another head, or get spots (unless you are a mad possessed chocolate eater with two heads), so you don't look unwell.
The only obvious signs can be if you happen to use a stick or wheelchair but even then because chances are you actually look OK, people make an assumption you have hurt your leg or recovering from an accident like a broken leg, not that it could be because of an illness.
So getting people to understand your inner pain is actually quite difficult. Getting people to be able to quantify how they would feel after only a few hours sleep every night is difficult. I've had this many times where someone says 'I had a rough night last night, I feel rough today', and inside my head I'm thinking 'that's me everyday' but you don't say it, because you simply could not understand it unless you were actually going through it.
However, having said all that, having a support network behind you is paramount. Even if someone doesn't truly understand, if they have taken the time to listen and even begin to try and understand or support you, then you have cracked it.
Most of my friends just accepted it, a few of them even knew about it, and that lead to knowing more people and gaging a bigger understanding, some haven't said anything and that is fine too. Some I know must have looked it up because they come out with things they wouldn't know about fibro unless they had looked it up.
But support really starts from your base too doesn't it, and I've been really lucky that my husband Mick has been as understanding as he has. You see, he's not one for the doctors, doesn't like them at all. I think he's been once, maybe twice in the 11 years we have been together, and he really isn't into all this doctor stuff at all, but he has made a huge attempt to understand how I feel, and he has been very supportive at home. I'm lucky in that he already does so much anyway, not just doing the school pick up and drop off but the cleaning, cooks just about every night, washes up and a whole host of other stuff that would simply not get done without him.
He takes that away and out of the equation so when I get home I can concentrate of the things that I want like catching up with the kids or talking about our day together. Having an evening a few hours to talk too, it is invaluable. I couldn't exist doing what I do working full time, and the kids etc without him.
You know they say you have a soul mate in life, and you know what, I have definitely found mine. Thank you for all that you are hubs.
