Monday, 23 August 2010

They call it Mellow Yellow

I would say happy Monday to y’all but I suspect I might get something thrown at me, since happy and Monday should never really be in the same sentence unless you happen to be on some exotic beach somewhere having a rather nice time of it.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you loads to those that gave me support last week when I wasn’t feeling so good. Special thanks to Gill, who was so concerned about me, she dropped a lovely bouquet of yellow carnations and a card off to cheer me up. Cheer me up, they certainly did and are still on my desk making me smile as they look so cheerful. Thank you Gill!

My mood has improved no end. Not sure why, but I think it’s a natural part of having Fibro, OA, RLS etc, and this last week or so, my IBS has been a pain as well, and when you combine that with disrupted sleep, it’s never going to make for gaining comedian of the year now is it.

I do my best. I am a generally very cheerful person, and things rarely get me down, but I do have my moments as well, and will have periods where I am cheerful, then tearful, then down in the dumps, and a lot of the time it’s not something anyone else has done, it’s just my body having a rough time of it, and needing to slow down or just take it out on whichever limb it’s decided hasn’t moved enough that week. I deal with it fairly well most of the time too, but I appreciate people thinking of me.

I’m in a position and I’m sure a lot of people with chronic conditions feel the same or have at least experienced this to a degree. When you first get diagnosed with something, people have a lot of time and sympathy for you, even if you don’t necessarily ask for it, or expect it, it’s comes out which is lovely to know people out there want to support you. But quite often as time goes on, this wanes off as life moves on, and for you, you are stuck with it 24/7. For them, they hear about it, but then it fades, and you don’t expect people to want to comfort you 24/7 either, they have a life to lead after all! So sometimes, when you are having a rough patch, people forget you actually have stuff to deal with, and you can become a bit frustrated with it. Not often, just sometimes, particularly in a bad flare.

However, this week, or at least the last few days, I’ve not been too bad at all. Lots of stuff going on I think have provided a welcome distraction. I’ve been asked to help with something at work, which I am actually really happy and quite excited to help with, as it’s something I think I will really enjoy and get a lot out of too. That also means, it’s going to keep me very busy, but I like that, busy is good!
I’ve got some organising to do for my boss retiring soon, so that is sad, but good at the same time that we can plan all these things for him.

I’ve caught up with family things, which is good, with mum and my sister. I don’t live right by them, so don’t get to see them mega often. When you work full time and have two kids, weekends tend to be a god send to catch up with other stuff, and also for me to relax and have some time out too.

It will be a year on Thursday since dad passed away. Part of me does not want to deal with it as it’s just going to open up all the raw memories of that day, and I can remember to the second everything I was doing, what I was wearing, the weather, everything. The other part of me knows it’s an important part of the process to grieve and face these anniversaries because it gives you time to think about all the good stuff too about him, and remember that he had times when he was happy and healthy too, so it’s going to be a strange day to be honest. I’m at work, which is going to be hard, but I will do my best to not ball through the day. We shall see, you can’t help raw emotion sometimes can you, so it’s just going to be a suck it and see kind of day I think!

Physically, I’ve not been too bad, hands and feet are the biggest moan currently, but the neck is asking to take first place today. It could be a lot worse though, so am rolling along ignoring it. My mood is staying put on the positive end of the scale today folks!

Oh, and I’ve decided to join an arse reduction programme. Or in simple terms, lose some weight! I’ve got a bit more ‘bluurrr’ about looking at myself lately. I won’t lie, I don’t think I’m hideous, but I also don’t think I’m healthy at this weight either, so it needs to be done. I’ve talked about it before I know, and lost momentum too. You have to WANT something to succeed in it, so I’m motivated, not just to look better, but to feel better and reduce the pressure on my joints etc.

So I’ve decided a treat on a Saturday is good, but the rest of the week is no no, and generally going to eat better and try and exercise more in the day at work at lunch too, as it’s been wet and I’ve not been able to go out which in turn has made me feel stiff and sore at work, so needs must.

Anyway, I’ve written a novel as usual, so am going to sign off and devour this rather tasty looking bowl of pineapple. Yum!

Toodle Pip!