They call it Mellow Yellow

I would say happy Monday to y’all but I suspect I might get something thrown at me, since happy and Monday should never really be in the same sentence unless you happen to be on some exotic beach somewhere having a rather nice time of it.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you loads to those that gave me support last week when I wasn’t feeling so good. Special thanks to Gill, who was so concerned about me, she dropped a lovely bouquet of yellow carnations and a card off to cheer me up. Cheer me up, they certainly did and are still on my desk making me smile as they look so cheerful. Thank you Gill!

My mood has improved no end. Not sure why, but I think it’s a natural part of having Fibro, OA, RLS etc, and this last week or so, my IBS has been a pain as well, and when you combine that with disrupted sleep, it’s never going to make for gaining comedian of the year now is it.

I do my best. I am a generally very cheerful person, and things rarely get me down, but I do have my moments as well, and will have periods where I am cheerful, then tearful, then down in the dumps, and a lot of the time it’s not something anyone else has done, it’s just my body having a rough time of it, and needing to slow down or just take it out on whichever limb it’s decided hasn’t moved enough that week. I deal with it fairly well most of the time too, but I appreciate people thinking of me.

I’m in a position and I’m sure a lot of people with chronic conditions feel the same or have at least experienced this to a degree. When you first get diagnosed with something, people have a lot of time and sympathy for you, even if you don’t necessarily ask for it, or expect it, it’s comes out which is lovely to know people out there want to support you. But quite often as time goes on, this wanes off as life moves on, and for you, you are stuck with it 24/7. For them, they hear about it, but then it fades, and you don’t expect people to want to comfort you 24/7 either, they have a life to lead after all! So sometimes, when you are having a rough patch, people forget you actually have stuff to deal with, and you can become a bit frustrated with it. Not often, just sometimes, particularly in a bad flare.

However, this week, or at least the last few days, I’ve not been too bad at all. Lots of stuff going on I think have provided a welcome distraction. I’ve been asked to help with something at work, which I am actually really happy and quite excited to help with, as it’s something I think I will really enjoy and get a lot out of too. That also means, it’s going to keep me very busy, but I like that, busy is good!
I’ve got some organising to do for my boss retiring soon, so that is sad, but good at the same time that we can plan all these things for him.

I’ve caught up with family things, which is good, with mum and my sister. I don’t live right by them, so don’t get to see them mega often. When you work full time and have two kids, weekends tend to be a god send to catch up with other stuff, and also for me to relax and have some time out too.

It will be a year on Thursday since dad passed away. Part of me does not want to deal with it as it’s just going to open up all the raw memories of that day, and I can remember to the second everything I was doing, what I was wearing, the weather, everything. The other part of me knows it’s an important part of the process to grieve and face these anniversaries because it gives you time to think about all the good stuff too about him, and remember that he had times when he was happy and healthy too, so it’s going to be a strange day to be honest. I’m at work, which is going to be hard, but I will do my best to not ball through the day. We shall see, you can’t help raw emotion sometimes can you, so it’s just going to be a suck it and see kind of day I think!

Physically, I’ve not been too bad, hands and feet are the biggest moan currently, but the neck is asking to take first place today. It could be a lot worse though, so am rolling along ignoring it. My mood is staying put on the positive end of the scale today folks!

Oh, and I’ve decided to join an arse reduction programme. Or in simple terms, lose some weight! I’ve got a bit more ‘bluurrr’ about looking at myself lately. I won’t lie, I don’t think I’m hideous, but I also don’t think I’m healthy at this weight either, so it needs to be done. I’ve talked about it before I know, and lost momentum too. You have to WANT something to succeed in it, so I’m motivated, not just to look better, but to feel better and reduce the pressure on my joints etc.

So I’ve decided a treat on a Saturday is good, but the rest of the week is no no, and generally going to eat better and try and exercise more in the day at work at lunch too, as it’s been wet and I’ve not been able to go out which in turn has made me feel stiff and sore at work, so needs must.

Anyway, I’ve written a novel as usual, so am going to sign off and devour this rather tasty looking bowl of pineapple. Yum!

Toodle Pip!

Dark Moods...

I’ve not been around much lately, on line I mean. A number of things I suppose, but I’ve not been in the right frame of mind, and when I feel like that, I think it’s better to say nothing than say something you think you should or feel you have to.

It’s been busy at work for sure, I’ve had a number of extra things going on lately and I think it’s drained me more than I thought it would. I suppose the other thing is also the ending of an era. Our manager is retiring soon and he’s all most of us have ever known. I’ve worked at my place for 15 years, but I’m a junior member of the long service brigade compared to some of my lot including my boss who will have clocked up 45 years before he retires. It’s a strange thing knowing that change is coming, the uncertainty and having to make adjustments to this ‘new’ thing we will all have to get used to.

That, and it’s been a generally busy lots going on kind of period. My big boy was five yesterday. I can’t believe he’s five already. It seems like yesterday he was born, and now he’s five. We had a lovely day with him. He loved his presents and was obsessed with his favourite one (Iron Man toy), and we took him for his first trip to the cinema and then out for something to eat later. It was really cool to see him enjoy himself.

I’ve not been doing too great though, not that it mattered yesterday because that was all about celebrating a special boys birthday, but I can see my persona lately seems to be reflecting in my everyday life at the moment.

Last night once the birthday boy went up to sleep, we flicked the TV on. Well, we did after a while. Mick has been working so hard the last few weeks. Before I tell you about me, let me tell you about him.

His jewellery, particularly the custom side has been really busy and taken off like concorde. This is of course, excellent, because it’s testament to his talents, his customer service and his overall enjoyment and passion for his work. He is a self critical artist. If it’s not right, he’s not happy. Believe me to anybody out there considering who is right for the gig, it’s him. I might sound biased because I’m married to him, but really, it’s because I see what he goes through to achieve every order he sends out the door. He wants everything to be perfect, and won’t strive for anything less. He also keeps the person involved in touch all the time. But it’s all the stuff you don’t see as a customer. You order something, it comes, you pay, life goes on.

But Mick does so much more than that, and it’s been extra hard on him the last couple of weeks as we have had the kids off so he’s had to entertain them, and fit in orders and quite often he’s still tapping away at 9pm plus to get stuff done. So he’s a credit to not only himself, but to anyone doing what he does and the fact that he deserves all the praise he gets.

So, with the fact that he has had a lot on in mind, and we have had a big boy birthday to plan, execute and enjoy, it’s been a busy time of it. Now add me to the equation. I work full time, so I try and give as much support as I can. Take over the kids when I get home, so he can have a break. Saying that, he does the dinner most days and washes up even though I offer because he enjoys the break away from having been a dad all day and he earns it. I just wish I could take over ALL those things more so he could just go sit and enjoy some time out too, but he won’t have it bless him.

The last few months, apart from the dreaded restless legs, I’ve not been too bad. Warmer months really are a god send to anyone with fibro or OA. I know they say that the weather shouldn’t really have an impact on illnesses like these, but trust me and a million other sufferers when we say, it bloomin well does!

But the last couple of weeks I can only assume I’m going into a flare, because I’ve not felt right at all. I have to pace myself generally really to make sure I have enough energy points in the bank to keep going, but I’ve been doing well till lately with that, not really felt the tiredness the same way, but the last week in particular has been draining.

The pains have been getting worse. I actually hadn’t realise how low my pain levels have been until now as they have got worse. I have been really lucky they have not been so bad, but they are creeping up the last week or so. The weather has been colder and damper with the rain, and this has had a massive impact on my joints. My hands and knees in particular have been really tender. My knee (right one) which has always been the worst feels really unstable. If I straighten it too much I get shooting pains, if I bend it too much it hurts, but I’ve been having to be aware of how I turn on it, as it’s felt like it’s going to ‘give’, which is a bit unnerving when climbing stairs etc.

My hands have been aching, but again, my right one is worse. You know when you had growing pains as a kid? That crampy feeling with that hot ache you got? Well, it’s like that but stiffer as well, because I’ve noticed not just my index finger knuckle, but the middle and ring finger knuckles are also now showing signs of bone growth, and I can feel it in my hands like they are being poked with something hot inside. Weather has not helped but all part of the disease process I guess.

I have a huge knot in my shoulder which is causing neck pain and stiffness again along with bags of crunching, and sleeping has not been great either with little one and me not having a good sleep pattern.

So that has not helped the mood as my pains have been getting worse, but even more than that, I’ve felt really overly emotional as well. Not been like this for ages and I know part of that is my big boy having his birthday and being proud of him, but also it’s a sad time of year too, and it’s been getting to me, and not sure why it’s culminating. I guess the increased pain, less sleep, lower mood, equals things getting to me more.

So back to last night. We were flicking through the channels of the TV, and as usual, there was nowt on worth watching, so I suggested a film. Now picking a film is fun with us because we have a fair few DVD’s, but it takes us forever to pick something usually. So last night I suggested comedy, then gave three titles and said to chose from that, which Mick did after some bantering, and I did this big sigh and huffed out a long breath and he said to me ‘You are always stressed’.

And it really got to me because, I know he didn’t mean in it in a bad way, but I suppose I have been, or at least not my normal self by a long shot, and that has reflected in my mood. Anyway, we started watching the DVD, but Mick got tired, which was fair since it was a busy day and he had had a busy old week too. I stayed up but I got about ten more minutes into the movie and just sat there crying. Don’t know why, it just came over me. I think I needed to let it out to release it somehow.
Course then the tears came down, the nose ran and by the time I had got myself sorted, I was a right mess, so the last thing I wanted to go was go to bed knowing Mick had all settled in and he was going to get the snot monster next to me making that gross noise you make when you try and sniff up your nose full of crying snot!

So I made the decision to sleep elsewhere so as not to disturb him, but I didn’t sleep well at all. In fact I look like I’ve not slept either, and my eyes are red, so I’m hoping they will come round as I digest more and more tea!

So it’s been a bit of a roller coaster lately, and I’m sorry that I have what I do when I see the impact it has on people around me I love. Last thing I want is to annoy my husband since the poor bugger already puts up with enough being married to me, let alone having the emotional demon coming out too. I wish I could give it all away tomorrow to the illness incinerator so I didn’t have to feel like this and I didn’t have to impact on anyone else either.

I hope the poor man can cope with me a bit longer, as I really quite like my life despite these illnesses. I left my boys asleep this morning when I came into work, I hope to give them both a big kiss later when I come home. Missing them already and hoping hubby got a good sleep and my birthday boy is enjoying his new toys.

Arrrrggggghhhhhhhhh!

I just have to get a moan out of the way, it’s driving me potty lately and I wish it would just bog off and leave me along just for one night.

I am talking about the great wonder that is Restless Legs Syndrome. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. It is the single most irritating and annoying and depressing thing I have out of all my conditions and if I could give one up tomorrow, that would be the first to go.

I know I’ve already harped on about it one or two thousand times, but it really is becoming an issue for me. Whilst I was away I thought the extra exercise would benefit me in a number of ways.

One, exercise is good for you full stop, especially swimming.

Two, exercise produces endorphins, natures painkillers and also helps you sleep and relax better (pfft!).

Three, fresh air combined with exercise and walking especially with my legs, would be a darn good knock out cure.

But actually it made my RLS much, much worse. And I’ve read reports which state a lot of sufferers report exercise aggravating the symptoms and causing worse irritation. I think I’m one of them.

I don’t want to stop exercising though. That would be stupid since it will help the arthritis by strengthening the muscles around my knee joints. I just want the RLS to stop.

Not just for me either, but for Mick too, must drive him mad having to sit next to me all the time and I’m just fidgeting constantly.

Take last night. I was watching the TV, and it kicked in big time. I hated it because all I wanted to do was enjoy the programme and I was sitting there willing the ad breaks to come on, so I could think if I needed to visit the loo or I could fidget more because it was only the adverts. The irritation in my legs is just incredible.

People have difficulty describing the feeling, but it’s like nothing you can imagine unless you have it. A bit like thousands of miniscule creatures crawling around, but not the tickly feeling you get if you get an ant etc on you, the deep rooted irritation that is so awful, you would explode if you sat still. And the more you try and relax the worse it gets. How can that be right!

Luckily Mick was tired last night so we went to bed a bit earlier than normal, and I was glad to be doing something different. I’m better lying down than sitting, but I am sure it’s effecting how long I can keep still for. I toss and turn a lot and it’s probably playing a big part in that as well as the pain I get in my neck and hips.

Any other time, it wouldn’t be so bad because you can distract yourself with work, or being out and about etc, but when you just get to the end of a day and all you want is to sit down and chill, and it’s the one bloomin thing I can’t do. And it’s getting more frequent. It’s almost every night now in some severity.

I have looked into all the things you can do, and I know it can be associated with not just Fibromyalgia but with Arthritis as well. It can also be because of diabetes and kidney disease, but I’ve had tests for all that, so I’m guessing it’s hereditary as I’m sure other members of my family have mentioned it before and I used to get really bad growing pains as a child which apparently can be misdiagnosed RLS, so I may have had it for a longer time than I’ve known about as it can also be made worse by low iron and I was a pale child and always fainting etc when I was young, so who knows how long I’ve had it, as I’ve always been strange!!

Anyway, I can handle Fibro, I know about it, it’s something I can manage, and I can handle arthritis as I can also manage that too. But please, if I could get shot of RLS for just one night, that would be fab.

If there are any magic fairies out there, long lost fairy godmothers, maybe the odd lamp and lonely Genie about, I’m your girl!!

OK, moan over........ ;)

Fibro, Sun, Sea and Sand

Wow, where does the time go? Last I wrote here, I was waiting on some test results from a mountain of tests I’d had done. Well, I rang for them the Thursday before I was going away, and told to go in and see the doctor.

He said I was low on iron, not drastically but enough to have an effect on tiredness etc, so I got told I need more tests to see what’s going on. Just need more iron I suspect!! So I’ll try that the natural way, not those nasty pills thanks!

He also said I tested negative for Rheumatoid arthritis which was good, but that there was some inflammation showing which would indicate along with the crunching, pain, and the fact my knuckles on my hands are starting to show signs of knobbling, that I do indeed have osteoarthritis, so at least I know what the heck I’m dealing with now, which of course is a good thing, because knowledge is power and all that.

He said that combined with the fibro was going to be causing more pain etc and sleep issues as one of the main symptoms of fibro is sleep issues and one of the symptoms of OA (or Arthur as it is affectionately known as) is fatigue, so a good combination for sleep problems there then!!

But that was before I went away so I didn’t have the other tests done yet since it was the day before heading off, and head off we did!

I have to say it was two weeks of heaven and you will be proud of me when I say I didn’t use my stick once, not once, not even my knee support, and I did some exercise I tell you. Every other day we went to the swimming pool over the road where I did around 20 lengths each time. Not a huge pool, but never the less a darn good effort for me, and they had a Jacuzzi there too, so 15 minutes in there was also really helpful for my ailing joints!

We also did loads of coastal walking and beach time, as well as swimming in the sea (I did yes, actually swam in the sea and it was amazing!).

The walk to the beach itself was exercise especially the cove beach we went to. The walk down was easy, but you had to get back up again and it was pretty steep, but I tell you what, all that fresh air, walking, swimming and generally chilling out was just the ticket. I could seriously do that every day. I felt so much better for it you know. I know a lot of people with fibro and OA can’t get out and about the same way, and I’m lucky I can, but it’s true what they say about having some exercise, it really does help you know.

I was plenty exhausted by the evenings. You can ask hubby, he said I nodded off whilst we caught up on some big brother snoring my head off (although I’d like to debate this fact – haha!). But did I sleep? Did I heck! The bed was awful. Dues to the chalet owners, they had to protect the mattresses, but they had these plastic things on them which were noisy, the mattress was hard, the pillows too soft and even totally wiped out, I just tossed and turned the whole night. My most tired being the late early hours when everyone else was getting up I was just getting tired enough to sleep for an hour or so, so that part was really frustrating.

The doctor said to me you get exercise, you feel better, you eat better, you sleep better etc. Well, doc, I hate to disappoint you but I was one active bunny whilst I was away and yes, I felt amazing for it, but it made no difference to my sleep whatsoever. I wish it had, but it didn’t work, so you lost that one. I just have to live with the fact that the fibro and OA as well as the majorly annoying Restless Legs are going to dominate my sleep and not let me have it. Life, I’m there.....

But I loved getting out and the sea air and the walking and being outside, so am so glad I was not hindered by the dreaded knee. I thought it would cause more issues, but it didn’t. It hurt, and one time my leg because the fact my left has to compensate for my right, threatened to do a major cramp up, and my fear with this is if it does, the whole thing will snap as my Achilles on both legs is VERY tight and needs a bag load of stretching out, and I don’t ever wear heels either!

But alas, I am back at work, very happy to have enjoyed a break and already planning the next one, and not looking forward to the pile waiting for me to go through, but happy none the less.

I just wish I could desk it from the beach, how cool would that be!

Here is to keeping up the exercise in some form. Unlike most people who gain a few pounds on holiday, I actually lost a few so am hoping to keep the trend up to further help my knee not be so feeble! We can but try!!

Race for Life

Howdy! Gosh, been a long time since I was on here. Feels like a long time anyway. What have I been up to?

Well, busy is the word, can’t describe it any other way. Work has been madness in a mad hat. I had a facilities forum to go to. Interesting things they are. You seem to have once big room with loads and loads of little booth type things set up which are basically partitions in which each section sat a supplier. There were basically three groups of people there. The ‘Gold’ badge wearers were delegates who were there to attend appointments and discussion groups. There were ‘Silver’ badge wearers who were supplier aiming to help provide you with facilities solutions and then ‘white badge’ wearers who were staff organising the show as it were.

So if any of you have ever heard of speed dating you will know what I mean when I say it was like that. You get a room full of people who sit with one set of people (or person in the case of speed dating), who have an allotted time to ‘make their case’ and then BING! You move onto the next one.

Actually we got a small gap in between because none of our appointments took the full 30 minutes allowance, but it wasn’t enough time to get a cuppa and enjoy it because by the time the volcanic substance had cooled enough not to melt your lips, you were hovering off to the next ‘date’, so there was an array of abandoned and orphaned cups all over the place, with half eaten mini croissants and pain du chocolat everywhere.
That was the day time bit, then came the evening part. They call this ‘networking’ so the idea is under a more relaxed and social atmosphere (enhanced by copious amounts of free alcohol) you then net work with people, and potentially get more business etc. It was OK, mind reader was good, but we worked him out, people were nice, food was OK, wine was good, fall was not so good. Que black and blue elbow, but I don’t expect sympathy, the slab probably came off worse once I’d landed on it, but my poor elbow did bear the brunt of the fall!

The next day seemed a lot different. Mainly because people were far more relaxed as they had done so over the course of the day as people went through their cycle of talks over and over and we all started to get to know one another, so it was a much more pleasant day.

My poor baby had chickenpox though. He’d been to his sports day having been unwell the weekend before with what we thought was a cold as he always gets a temperature when he gets a cold. Runny nose, sneezing and a bit of a cough, seemed like a cold to me. And even more so when both Mick and I also got the same cold too!

Anyway, off he goes to sports day, so a warm day, half of which is spend rolling around on the grass in between events, and when I got home I noticed he had some spots on his back, and a couple on his neck. We initially thought it might have been bites as he is just like Mick, and insects love him!

So we left it till the morning to see for sure, but come morning there were more and blistered so we knew for sure then it was chickenpox. Just before I was going away as well. It was funny because he was like this the last time. I feel bad about going away. The only night I’ve ever left Mick and the kids was the day my dad died. It was one night and despite my own grief I still felt bad about leaving them.

Then I had this Holland trip and this forum, so three nights in maybe 5-7 years, but it could have been months to me as I always feel guilty about going. It’s like, I’m a mother, and I know I work but that pays bills, but leaving them , and especially leaving Mick to manage them makes me feel like a lesser person. Maybe it’s just me, but that’s my mind I guess.

And it’s like my son getting poorly each time before I went too, making me feel even worse for leaving someone when they are poorly. I’ve lost count the number of times I’ve been in his room with him when he’s woken up or got sick, but it’s what you do as a parent isn’t it, you just be there.

But I am ever grateful to Mick for his support. The opportunities I've had lately have been important to try and get my place in my working world, and I couldn't do that without his support. I do tell him that, but I hope he knows it even if I can't say it as often as I'd like.

Anyway, that aside (my head is feeling a little sorry for itself today), I also have the race for life this weekend. I can’t believe it’s come round so quickly, but it has. It’s tinged with sadness because this time last year when I did the last one, dad was still with us, but now he’s not here anymore and I’ve got this dedication I can put on the back of my t-shirt, as all of us doing it will, and putting his name but because he wasn’t a lucky survivor is going to be hard to do.

I am looking forward to hobbling round. Sophie is coming with me from work, and hopefully it will be a nice day and I won’t suffer for it as its one more whole week then we get to go away on holiday and I can’t wait to go. The break from just thinking will be good. It’s got so busy lately, I just seem to spend more time wondering from one task to another, going home and wondering why my head won’t stop spinning so a break is going to be very welcome for all of us.

So I’ll sign off now, but do wish me luck for Sunday and I send out my wishes to all the ladies doing the race for life over the coming months. Good luck to all of you, whoever you are running for.

A weighty issue.....

Umm, well I’ve been officially told off. About time though I suppose. I knew it was going to be a point of interest even before I stepped in the door, it was just hearing it I guess that needed to be done so it gave me the proverbial kick up the backside to get going.

I went to the doctors yesterday. This neck pain has been driving me doolally as some of you may have noticed (no, not really Ange, didn’t notice you whining at all – haha!), and I really needed to set straight in my mind what is going on.

Anyway, I step in and he’s got a student with him. I don’t mind students for something like this, I wouldn’t put one through anything more intimate than a neck and knee though, but he was OK. Asked me a zillion questions which actually seemed to go over the same thing, but I suppose he was out to impress and be thorough, so you have to do these things don’t you?

Well, then doc took over and he had a look at my neck and knee. He said there was some cracking and noise going on. I mentioned arthritis since two of my aunties have it although my mum tested negative, she also has trouble with her joints so I wasn’t sure if there was some history there. They say everyone gets arthritis in their necks after a certain age, just for some it doesn’t bother them at all, and others it really bothers them.

Well, examination over, I had also gone for a pill check. When you take the contraceptive pill you get 6 months supply each time, and you get can one repeat prescription and then you have to go back and have your blood pressure checked. This was my BP check. Actually when he did it, it was sky high. But I do have white coat syndrome and I did mention this to him, so he said we would ignore it this time since I have my own machine at home as well so I can check it if I need to.

Then he weighed me. This is where the pain began! I have put on two stone in two years since I was last weighed. Not good at all, not good! He mentioned this because he said you have fibromyalgia already, but if you do have any arthritis which he thinks it could be, then having extra weight will make everything feel worse (I knew this – she said sheepishly), and he said you won’t help yourself. He also said it’s a vicious circle of not sleeping well (which he knows I don’t), and then doing a day at work, coming home and because you are always trying to catch up on sleep you then don’t feel like exercise. When you do exercise it hurts, so you have to break the cycle.

He said I need to seriously look at my diet and try and lose some weight, and also try and get more exercise as he said it will help even if it hurts, I won’t damage myself, it will all help reduce the pressure on my joints.

So lecture over (and I knew all this, but just needed a prompt), he said he wants me to have the whole spectrum of bloods done, so full blood count, liver and kidney functions, thyroid, cholesterol, arthritis, diabetes, you name it, I’m going to be tested for it to rule things in or out either way. He said hopefully everything comes back normal, but we will deal with it when the results come in.

So we shall see! I am half hoping that it comes back with some positives for arthritis so I can explain this horrible pain in my neck. I’ve had this for years and I’ve been very slim during the period I’ve had the accident. I know the weight won’t help, but at the same time, I know this isn’t just down to that too, so it will be a revelation if all comes back completely normal.

I just need to put project lose the enormous backside off of me into action now. So salad world, here I come, fruit you won't know what hit you.....

Otherwise though, things are ticking along. Work, busy as always. My youngest is in the throws of a cold, and I think hubby is getting the snuffles, I’ve been sneezing but I put that down to hay fever as I’ve been really sensitive to it this year, but it’s going, and it’s not long till we scoot off on holly bogs and I can’t wait for the break!

Oh, and we won’t talk about the little football thing – I think it’s been done to death by now...... ;)

Lock, Stock and four tasty popodums...

Well, what a roller coaster the last few days has been. It was my wedding anniversary on Friday. 6 years married, 11 years together, and I was looking forward to going out for a night out with just Mick.

This is the first time in years since we have done this, as we have never left the nipper with anyone before. Not just a trust element for us, but mostly because he was a highly unpredictable boy given his sleeping patterns and getting to the point where I felt able to leave him was a big deal.

Anyway, Sophie, who I work with, offered to take on the challenge. One thing I know about Sophie is my total trust in her because she’s a smart, mature woman and I know that she won’t crumble in a crisis so I had no doubt she would cope with my four year old. So we had a ‘date’ a couple of weeks ago, so they could meet each other, and I really don’t know what I was worried about. They were fine together!

So I had a full day’s training Friday, riveting stuff on health and safety legislation, but it was good to get it done as it means we can move forward with our plans now. I was out the door the second it was done and back home. I spent a bit of time getting dolled up ready and did my hair etc, and then Mick got ready too. We already know what we were going, so that was sorted.

Sophie came over armed with sweets (good ploy) and it was no time at all before they were best buddies and I felt happy to leave them.

We went to the local curry house. Not just any, the one we always tend to use. They do really good food. In fact, we had Christmas dinner there and it was amazing. I had my usual vegetable biryani (after we demolished four popudoms), and Mick had the chicken piri piri which was just amazing, and then after being stuffed with all that, we decided we fancied some pudding, so we went for a funky punky. This was in face a kid’s pudding, but it was ice cream that came in a kids penguin shaped container you could take home. The face of the waiter said it all (pair of nutters!!).

The England match was also on, but you wouldn’t know it. We walked up town at 7pm, and there were police etc around, as I would expect probably for a footy match and a Friday night. But when we came out just before 9 it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop, so we knew it wasn’t going well.

We walked back armed and dangerous with our penguins to find Sophie sat on the sofa and the nipper fast asleep! Phew, and well done to her for wooing him. I was really happy, as it means he was good and enjoyed himself too!

After we saw Sophie out, we got a drink and then settled down to open pressies. Mick got me some lovely things including an ‘A’ for my charm bracelet, the ENTIRE collection of Shameless series (all seven of them yippeeeee!), and this lovely wooden box crammed full with old fashioned sweeties, all done in a love theme, so lots of love hearts etc. Wicked!

He liked his collection of t-shirts, shorts, DVD’s (one of which was series one of Shameless – opps!), and his battle strikers since he is a big kid!
So a very good anniversary and I was glad we were able to go out and enjoy each other’s company and some good food.

Sunday was of course father’s day. I must have been totally zonked out Saturday as I woke up with the nipper in bed and wondered how he had got there without me noticing or waking up since he tends to shout for me these days. He wrote a card for Mick then went down to deliver that and we had a nice breakkie with boiled eggs and toast before heading off to a local water park for a bit, but it was a bit warm it has to be said, so we didn’t keep out too long, settling for model making with plasticine in the shade after.

It was tinged with a bit of sadness though. Sunday was father’s day and today would have been my dad’s 61st birthday had he not been taken by cancer. It feels really odd not sending a card or anything. I can see now why mum planned to be on holiday this time, keep her mind off things.

I think my mixed emotions are due to the elation of going out and having my anniversary mixed with sadness because dad should be here and isn’t and that my neck has not felt this bad in a very, very long time and I am going up the wall with it. I have even resorted to wearing a scarf at night since the very hint of a cooler air and I feel an intense amount of pain. The heat of a good soak didn’t touch it and I did have to resort to painkillers. I think they took a slight edge off but that’s it, and I can’t believe just how much it’s hurting. It feels as raw as it did when I first had my accident. I guess I’m having one heck of a flare because it’s effecting my arms too which hurt just moving them about. My feet after walking into down (sans stick) really moaned all weekend, so I think I’ve hit flare time, and I’m hating every flippin second of it.

Roll on holly bogs. I need some sea and sand therapy.....